🇦🇷 This Week in Spain: Cry for Argentina. Or Don't

Also: Israel recalls ambassador in Madrid and a controversial coloring book.

May 23, 2024

By @IanMount and @AdrianBono | May 23, 2024 | Madrid | Issue #58

🎉 Welcome to The Tapa, an English-language, weekly newsletter about all things Spain!

🥜 This Week in a Nutshell: Well, we’re at war with Argentina. Not at war war, of course, but you know what we mean. The last few days have seen the relations between the two countries hit rock bottom and it doesn’t look like it’s getting better any time soon. Better stock up on the dulce de leche, just in case.

🇦🇷 FYI: Both Tapa writers worked as journalists in Argentina and if there’s one running joke there, it’s that foreign media can’t not use variations of “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina” when covering whatever hot mess is happening down there. So we’re using it ironically here. Sorry.

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BFF: Pedro Sánchez ❤️ Javier Milei

🥊 Let’s Have a Fight—It’ll Help Both of Us!

Well, that escalated quickly! On Sunday, Argentine President Javier Milei was in Madrid to speak at a right-wing love-in alongside tighty righty leaders from around Europe and next thing we know it’s Wednesday and Spain has announced the ”definitive withdrawal” of its ambassador to Argentina and Milei is laughing at Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez, claiming, “I already have Pedrito Sánchez at match point”.

We swear, you turn away from the news for one second in this country and 💥.

So…what happened? Well, we were paying attention. And it’s all so weird.

The fracas took off Sunday with Milei’s speech at Europa Viva 24, a far-right festival held by Spain’s Vox party at the Palacio Vistalegre in Madrid (Vox boss Santiago Abascal called it a “grand convention of patriots” 👀). Besides Abascal and Milei, French righty Marine Le Pen was there, as well as Prime Ministers Viktor Orbán and Giorgia Meloni, of Hungary and Italy respectively, who spoke virtually (because they are too important to show up in person).
Milei had something to say. Argentine president/dog-cloner/libertarian Milei was invited to attend, and used his stage time to bust on socialism and make some not-exactly-veiled references to the unproven corruption allegations made against Sánchez’s wife Begoña Gómez—and to mock Sánchez’s five-day sabbatical/spa-treatment/deep-think after those allegations hit the press.
Milei’s specific words? “The global elites do not realize how destructive it is to implement socialist ideas because they’re too far away from it all. They don’t know what kind of society and country socialism can produce, what kind of people cling to power and what levels of abuse it can bring,” he said, then paused with a mischievous smile. “I mean, even when he has a corrupt wife, he debases himself and takes five days to think about it.”

Yup, it was that enigmatic last bit that wound up Sánchez. He—or, really, the diplomatic apparatus of the Spanish state—swung into action. Foreign Minister José Manuel Albares made a very stern speech in which he recalled the Spanish ambassador in Buenos Aires, demanded apologies from Milei, and said if Milei didn’t say sorry, Spain would take measures to defend its “sovereignty and dignity.”

But these guys got history. While his words are obviously uncool and not acceptable, it bears noting that Milei’s swipe doesn’t come out of the blue. A little over two weeks ago, Spain’s Transport Minister/Sánchez attack dog Oscar Puente suggested that Milei was drugged up.
Milei’s office answered Puente with a high-strung (but not druggy!) communique that said that Sánchez had “bigger problems to deal with”; mentioned the corruption allegations against his wife; pointed to his agreements with “separatists'' that endangered the “unity of the kingdom”; suggested that “illegal immigration” in Spain put women in danger ( ⁉️); and claimed that Sánchez’s policies “only bring poverty and death”. 😱 ‼️
This one goes to 11. The spat only got more, um, spatty. Milei told Sánchez not to expect an apology, that really it was Spain who owed him an apology because of Puente’s remarks. Milei’s spokesfolks then said Milei didn’t mention Sánchez or Gómez by name so why the big whoop (epic-level gaslighting!)—and Sánchez turned the disses against him and Begoña into a “L'État, c'est moi” moment, basically saying Milei’s comments meant he hates democracy (not, you know, Sánchez) and the achievements of socialism. And now Spain says it has no plans to return its ambassador to Argentina and Milei says he’s got a match point on Pedrito and…what?
Wait! The PP wants to say something! If you were wondering where the center-right opposition to Sánchez’s PSOE was in all this, you’re not alone. The answer? Nowhere. Sánchez took a swipe at them for not defending ~~his~~ Spain’s honor quickly enough, and they came out with…a statement: “The same government that did not withdraw the Spanish ambassador in Russia after the invasion of Ukraine…does so now with the ambassador in Argentina because Pedro Sánchez feels insulted by the words of Javier Milei pronounced at a rally.” Which is true and correctly snarky but no one is paying attention.

What the hell is this really about? We have to admit we haven’t spoken directly to Pedrito or Javi (sorry), but we have ideas.

“Look, defenseless babies!” There’s a scene in Fletch when Chevy Chase as Fletch is attacked by a doberman and to distract it says those three words. And we think that may be applicable here.
Couldn’t come at a better time, actually. Madman theory aficionado Milei has been unable to pass his promised reforms and people are being impoverished in the early months of his administration, while high-wire act/brilliant short-term political tactician Sánchez needs to rally his voters and move the conversation away from the PP’s favorite topics of amnesty and corruption—so what better way for both sides to get what they want than with a rally-around-me political distraction?
Milei presented his new book on Wednesday in Buenos Aires, before an ecstatic audience at the Luna Park stadium. He was euphoric, performed a rock song on stage (for real) and then of course proceeded to chant “Pedro, Pedro, Pedro, your wife is corrupt and so are you”.

So we’re not going to war? Nope, not gonna happen. In fact, we have a date/prediction for you. We will hear about this spat fairly incessantly until about June 9. That’s the date of the European parliamentary elections.

Not long after, things will quietly return to normal. No one will apologize. And we will forget it happened (in fact, Argentina’s Foreign Minister has already said this is “just an anecdote in the history between both countries”). And, as it always does with Sánchez, the PP will basically lose.

More news below! 👇

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💬 Five things to discuss at dinner parties this week

1. 😢 That horrible tragedy in Granada

The story of two children killed by their grandfather in the Granada town of Huétor Tájar is in itself pretty much the most tragic thing ever, and then you hear the backstory.

The tragedy began Sunday night when residents in the town called the police emergency line to report a man with a “threatening attitude”—a 72-year-old named Pepe Gálvez Sanjuan—who had locked himself in his home, on Alfredo Nobel street, with his two grandsons, of 10 and 12 years of age.
Bad omens. The boys’ father told police he’d had an argument with Pepe and he’d heard loud noises from the apartment where his father-in-law was barricaded with the boys. Pepe had apparently also threatened other family members who had tried to intercede.
Local police, Guardia Civil and health care workers soon showed up. 👮 When they arrived, Pepe shot several rounds into the air, alerting the police that he was armed. Hours of negotiations ensued. After the first few, the negotiator was replaced by an expert of the Special Interventions Unit from Madrid.

Negotiations continued until 5 a.m. Monday. And then, a breakthrough? That’s when Pepe said he wouldn’t talk to the negotiator any more because the kids had to prepare for school the next day, and they would leave at 8 a.m. As negotiations were then calm and the man seemed to be speaking truthfully, the police decided to wait to see if the situation had calmed down.

Not according to plan. But 8 a.m. passed. Then 8:10, 8:15… At 8:25 a.m., police entered—and when the grandfather saw them, he killed himself with the shotgun.
Tragedy left behind. Inside, police discovered the worst possible outcome—the lifeless bodies of the two boys. It appeared that Pepe had strangled one of the children and shot the other one before committing suicide. The timing is unknown, awaiting autopsy results, but the investigators’ hypothesis is that Pepe killed the two children hours earlier. The unvarnished truth: All three were dead.

The story somehow gets even more tragic. The “inciting incident” occurred on March 19—Father’s Day—when Pepe was driving a car with his wife, the children’s mother, and the two boys. Pepe apparently lost consciousness while driving, lost control, and had an accident that killed his wife and daughter and injured the boys.

Pepe sunk into depression, not surprisingly, and was receiving psychological services. He blamed himself for the deaths, a neighbor said.
The boys’ father also blamed Pepe for the deaths of the two women. Worsening their relationship even more, while Pepe’s license had been revoked, he still drove—sometimes with his grandchildren, which is apparently another reason why the father did not want them to be with him.

“No one knows what went through that man's head, but he has destroyed everyone," a neighbor said of Pepe: the boys’ father remained sedated in the hospital on Tuesday.

A funeral was planned for Wednesday.

2. 🏘️ Less than 10% of Madrid tourist apartments are legal

Ever feel like Madrid was being invaded by tourist apartments? Well, you’re not wrong—Madrid City Hall has noticed too (and is finally doing something about it).

Madrid published a list of tourist apartments—as well as an interactive map. And the news is… discouraging. Of the 13,502 viviendas de uso turístico (VUT), only 1,092—or 8.1%—have a license or are in the process of getting one.
“I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!” This irregular situation has been around for years, but now the city hall led by José Luis Martínez-Almeida is doing its best Network imitation (see line above) and announcing an apparently massive crackdown.

So what will that mean? Well, lots of (bad) stuff if you own one of the unlicensed 92%. As the administration sets up a new city plan to go into effect in 2025 (the last one, from 2019, has proven “inefficient” to deal with tourism, it says), it is putting forth an interim set of harsh measures to “avoid residential desertification of the Centro, organize the tourist supply and promote coexistence between neighbors and visitors.” As in…

Suspend the granting of new VUT licenses. Immediately.
Increase the number of inspectors. By 15% this summer.
Publish a list and map of licensed VUT apartments (linked above). So tourists can verify where they are staying.
Massively increase the fines paid by illegal apartment runners. After a warning, owners used to pay fines of €1,000 to €3,000. Now those numbers, after a warning, will increase to €30,001 to €100,001. Did we say MASSIVELY? We meant it.

“It won’t be worthwhile to maintain an illegal business,” Almedia said in the presentation of the new rules. Clearly.

But what is city desertification? The city notes that between 2007 and 2023, the Madrid city census increased by 4.9% (154,943 inhabitants), to 3,339,.931 😃; but in the “touristic” Centro district, however, it decreased by 1.1% (1,610 people) to 139,687 😢.

Final question: Does this mean a bunch of apartments will return to the regular rental market and push down prices? Asking for a friend (or 12,000 of them).

3. 🇦🇫 Spanish tourists killed in Afghanistan and a Spanish photographer killed in Ethiopia

Two separate tragedies struck Spaniards traveling abroad this week. The first was in Afghanistan, where three tourists were killed. The second was in Ethiopia, where a photographer was murdered during an apparent robbery attempt.

Three Spanish tourists were killed in a market in the central Afghan province of Bamyan last Friday. According to the Taliban government, three Afghan nationals were killed as well. (This region is home to the remains of two giant Buddha statues the Taliban blew up back in 2001).

Those killed were part of a group that was walking through a bazaar in the region when they were suddenly shot at, local government says. A total of six people were killed while eight others were injured.
The three Spanish citizens killed were from Catalonia. Two of them were mother and daughter living in Terrassa, and the third was a man from Girona. The other wounded tourists were from Spain, Norway, Australia and Lithuania.
ISIS (aka the Islamic State) claimed responsibility. The group said on Telegram that “fighters shot at Christian tourists and their Shiite companions with machine guns”.
An Afghan government spokesperson said seven suspects were in custody.
The bodies were repatriated yesterday.

And that wasn’t the only tragedy involving a Spanish citizen this week. Chilean network Teletrece confirmed on Monday that Catalan photographer Toni Espadas had been killed in Ethiopia during what it called “a complex incident”.

Espadas was part of the production team of the Chilean TV show Socios por el Mundo, hosted by journalist Francisco Saavedra and actor Jorge Zabaleta, which covers “new and distant cultures” as well as “great adventures”.
The team was in the African nation filming the Murci tribe. As they were on the way back to their hotel after filming, two individuals armed with machine guns blocked the path of their jeep (apparently they intended to rob them) and, as they tried to avoid the assailants, the two men opened fire and hit Espadas, who was driving.
The Spanish photographer died “a few minutes later”. Everyone else in the team seemed to be uninjured.

4. 🇵🇸 Spain to Palestine: “Hey, you’re Palestine!” Israel? Not amused.

PM Sánchez announced yesterday that Spain—along with Ireland and Norway—would recognize Palestine on May 28. Well, to be honest, it won’t recognize the state of Palestine, because there isn’t really an accepted government, or borders, or a lot of other things. But at least Spain will recognize the idea of Palestine and its right and need to exist.

Sánchez explains why: “Only a solution of two states [Israel and Palestine] that coexist with security guarantees allows for peace. To achieve this, both parties must sit on equal terms,” he said, noting that the terrorist group Hamas, which led the Oct. 7 massacre in Israel, had “no space” in a Palestine state.

Long time coming: “We have a historical debt with the Palestinian people,” he added. “For more than half a century, UN resolutions have been ignored. That passivity must end. We trust that this will give them hope and dignity”.

Fraternal vibe. Spain has long been one of the more pro-Palestine of the European states—even if big pro-Palestine marches sometimes cause rifts between the PSOE and its further left partners.

So this recognition is a good thing all around, right? Well, not so much. Recognizing a state that doesn’t exist yet is an exercise in wishful thinking, especially when its neighbor is not eager for it to exist.

And Israel is not rooting for it to exist. Spain’s support of Palestine (and calls from PSOE’s lefty partners in Podemos/Sumar to bring up Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu on war crimes charges) have not endeared it to Israel. Not even a little (as expected).

How little? Israel’s Foreign Minister Israel Katz replied to the move by saying that “today’s decision sends a message to the Palestinians and the world: Terrorism pays.” And added that, “if Spain follows through on its intention to recognize a Palestinian state”, Israel will recall it’s ambassador to Spain as it did to Norway and Ireland.

But that’s not all. According to Reuters, Katz ordered the ambassadors of Spain, Norway and Ireland in Israel to be summoned for a severe reprimand—during which they would be made to watch the video of the kidnapping of people by Hamas.

Diplomatic relations are not going so well.

Just saying.

5. 🖍️ Satirical adult coloring book sparks outrage (because of course it did)

At a time when book ~~burning~~ banning is en vogue and adults with no media literacy continue to misinterpret satire, it’s no wonder that these things keep popping up on our news feed.

Sigh.

So what happened? Well, a publishing house in Valencia called Fandogamia last month published a satirical coloring book for adults called Baby Jesus Doesn’t Hate Sissies (or something like that, because mariquitas is hard to translate) written by a man named Don Julio.

The book is, well, absolutely, most definitely not for kids. Did we mention it’s not for children? Because it’s not. It’s for adults. Who are not children. It includes drawings that look like they are for kids (but again, they are not) and there are depictions of, well, all sorts of sexual positions and criticism of homophobic and Catholic groups, etc. Oh and a sexualized Jesus. Is it porn? Is it heresy? No one cares.
But then the problems started. The owner of a bookshop in Pontevedra uploaded a video in which he was outraged by the book. The media ran the story about it and suddenly it made the national news and started resonating in far-right and conservative platforms.

Did we say no one cares? Oh, we’re sorry. We meant to say someone absolutely cares: the Spanish Foundation of Christian Lawyers, who after hearing of the book’s existence have decided to interpret the book literally and have accused it of “incitement to discriminate and hate, and sexual provocation” (or, as the president of the organization calls it, “a defense of pedophilia”).

If you thought of this classic meme, you’re not alone.
To make things worse, turns out that someone (according to Fandogamia, a third-party) mistakenly classified the book as “Ages 6 and up” on Amazon and all hell broke loose. Tweets accusing the book of being “inappropriate”, of “grooming children” and of other monstrosities started multiplying (and so did the videos from outraged people).
The leader of the Christian lawyers foundation also says it is “the most barbaric and abhorrent thing we’ve ever seen” and that this type of content “shouldn’t be distributed”, no matter what age. The writer of the book, however, says that, while he understands there may have been some controversy over the age confusion “he’s saddened about how strongly fake stories make the rounds” and that “so few people are interested in understanding what happened”.
Elon’s involved! And because outrage is usually global these days, the next one to pick it up and comment (negatively) on it was professional troll account Libs of TikTok, which means that the one after that to attack the book was… you guessed it… Elon Musk.

Fandogamia was quick to react and pulled a Greta Thunberg by adding “this is demented” to their Twitter bio.

Thanks to the controversy, El País reports that the book has already sold over 3,000 copies (and none of them has been returned).
Don Julio says he’s happy with the results and that he has “no regrets”: “We consulted it all with lots of people in the LGBTQI+ community… If you’re homophobic, of course it will offend you.”

Remember back in 2011 when a satirical children’s book called Go the F--k to Sleep was published and everyone was like “LOL”, especially because the audiobook was narrated by none other than Samuel L. Jackson? No one thought it was for children.

It’s become a different world since then.

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